Manic Monday: Domesticating the Tapeworm

MANIC MONDAYS is a weekly feature concentrating on writing that is odd and quirky to assist in breaking up the dreaded return to the work week. This series is an open submission series, so if you have something off-beat to contribute send it our way!

 

One of my Face Book friends–who’s also a Real Life friend–is whining and sniveling about a story she’s sick of seeing at the top of her feed. Sharon is not referring to a story about our government closing its doors. Who cares about the Shut Down a man ate sushi six-months ago and grew a 5-foot tapeworm?

Now, Sharon recently ate sushi for lunch, and is now convinced she is growing a tapeworm. Knowing her as well as I do–like 30 years–she will worry so much about growing a tapeworm that she’ll grow a God damn ulcer. Sharon is a nut.

I, on the other hand, am brilliant. I read the entire thread–she has well-informed friends. I learned that eating sushi made from wild fish, cod in particular, is a surefire way to catch a tapeworm. So, I told Sharon I went looking for wild cod sushi after reading her post, hoping to catch a tapeworm. People with tapeworms lose weight. Doesn’t matter how many calories, carbohydrates or fat grams they eat. They’re really eating for two.

I will name my tapeworm Larry, and if he does his job well, I will reward him. Here’s the deal: after I lose 20 pounds, I will again eat sushi made from wild cod hoping to grow Lucy. Lucy will be Larry’s significant other. Working together, side-by-side, they will allow me to eat whatever I like for the rest of my life. My part of the deal is my promise to keep them well-fed.

Yep, I’m domesticating the tapeworm. Sharon is so excited by my idea that she’s already started a Face Book group called Wormers. Like I said, she’s a nut.

Annie Aronson

Writing Genre Series: Becky Kapjon

This is a series focused on showing emerging writers that genre is a personal choice…

I’m Becky Kapjon and I am a contemporary romance writer.  Since I am an avid romance reader, I decided why not tell my own stories.  I take my stories one step further, my stories are not a typical romance novel.  They are a little smuttier than a typical romance novel.  My characters come to the life on the page, with everyday problems with everyday situations.  They don’t always have a happy ending.  I enjoy writing about strong female characters who take charge of their life where sometimes it works for them and sometimes it doesn’t.  I’m hoping to publish my first novel soon.

Becky’s Author Page

Introvert Press began this series to give new authors insight into why writers pick their genre of writing. If you would like to contribute a short paragraph to this series, send us an email!

Writers in Co-Housing

Some people shudder at the thought of living with other writers; others think that’s the solution to a lot of problems. What do you think?

Me? I’m a writer, but of course that does not explain the entirety of my person. I’m a carpenter, a singer, a gardener, a minimalist…so many facets to who I am. I’m also struggling to make a living as a writer. I’ve made in-roads, but I’m not there yet. I’ve finished my first novel and am getting that to market. I’m trying my best to create a marketing network. I want to spend more time writing and less time ‘earning a living’.

Who would be interested in creating a non-profit entity focused on finding writers seeking to decrease their overhead, increase their writing potential and live with like-minded folks?

If you are, check out a new group The Writer’s Consortium to discuss the possibility of creating writer co-ops, writer co-housing, writer communities…you pick a noun to describe what you seek.

 

The Gods Speak

I’m a writer. It’s a life like no other. I sit at a table with a laptop and in the doing create worlds and creatures, give birth to nations, and dwell upon the profound. When my pen slows down I consider the giants of my craft for advice…

“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.” – Oscar Wilde

Dear Oscar, indeed you are right, and everyday I work toward that goal. I wonder if you ever felt as though you were utterly acquainted to your own self.

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” – Dorothy Parker

Never my dear, for you are my muse!

“I’m not a conspiracy theorist, I’m a conspiracy analyst. – Gore Vidal

Mr. Vidal…you would squeal in delight for the morass that is American politics.

“Courage is grace under pressure.” – Ernest Hemingway

Indeed it is and I try to clutch such grace, though I fear I lose grip from time to time.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” – Maya Angelou

Maya, oh Maya, had I had this wisdom in my youth I would have been much safer, but would lack the stories I am compelled to tell.

Imagine yourself now,

among the Herculean writers of our day,

what is it that you to say ?